Will Smith: You know, ain’t like I’m still five years old, you know? Ain’t like I’ll be sitting every night asking my mom “When’s daddy coming home?”, you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn’t there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned it, didn’t I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn’t I, uncle Phil?
Philip Banks: Yeah, you did.
Will Smith: Got to do my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had fourteen great birthdays without him; he never even sent me a damn card! TO HELL WITH HIM! I didn’t need him then and I don’t need him now.
Philip Banks: Will…
Will Smith: No, you know what, uncle Phil? I’ll get through college without him, I’ll get a great job without him, I’ll marry me a beautiful honey and I’m having a whole bunch of kids. I’ll be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don’t need him for that, ‘cause there ain’t a damn thing he can ever teach me about how to love my kids.
Will Smith: …How come he don’t want me, man?
What normal people think when they hear excalibur:
What I think of when I hear Excalibur:
Hilarious and wrong on so many levels.